I went over to a local comics shop last night for FNM. In the middle of purchasing NPH boosters, I notice that three guys are sitting around a table with large decks. I ask them if they are playing EDH, and can I join in? Turns out they were waiting for a new player, so I sat down and unfolded my brand-new
Malfegor deck.
It goes OK for a little while, and then the mouthbreathing
Kiki-Jiki player grins and nods his head to the
Azusa player, who scoops along with the
Karrthus player. "He just won", the both of them say.
I'm used to infinite combos, so I smirk and say "I'll stay. I want to see what he does". Kiki-Jiki Guy grins, displaying his yellowed teeth as if they were a museum piece.
I look at his board. He has:
6 Mountains
Goblin ChirurgeonGoblin GardenerA couple of of other cheap Goblin cards...but they aren't important to the story.
Nothing clicks. Maybe he has a new combo I've never heard of? I decide to watch.
He puts down
Goblin Marshal and says "2 tokens for me". I shrug, as nothing actually happened yet. I play my stuff for the turn.
Next turn arrives. He says "I don't play the echo cost". I shrug as he gives me that grin again. Finally, I crack and say "What's your combo?".
He says "I sac the Marshal, and get two tokens. I then sac Gardener and recur Marshal, getting two tokens. And I repeat infinite times"
I blink, and look at my hand. I don't have
Damnation or any other board wiper in my hand. Good Game...wait a goddamn second. It clicks. His "combo" is illegal.
"Uh, no. You can't regenerate a sacrificed creature" I say, as if this was the stupidest April Fool's joke in existence. His face glazes over in confusion, as if I had sprouted two additional heads and had lobsters crawling out of my ears.
To make a REALLY long story short, he threw a hilarious hissyfit, accused me of not knowing the rules, then accused me of cheating, THEN accused me of ruining "The Spirit of EDH" because IN HIS OWN WORDS: "The rules don't matter! What matters is that we have fun! You are ruining it with your rules lawyer bullshit!". This was made worse by the fact that the other two guys were just parroting everything he said.
I said "To Hell with it then" and left the table. He sneered smugly, as if he were Dick Dastardly's IRL equivalent. Considering he had a strip of peach fuzz he passed off as a mustache, he probably was.
As I'm walking away, a new game begins between them and another new player. A few minutes later as I'm buying more NPH boosters, I hear him shrieking in the same exact tone: "Hinder doesn't put my general into my library! He goes to the COMMAND ZONE!"
I left the store and vowed never to return.
Got any other stories to share? I'll post my other story later:
The Tale of Dick McUnshaven and Teferi, Mage of Zhalfir.