I went over to a local comics shop last night for FNM. In the middle of purchasing NPH boosters, I notice that three guys are sitting around a table with large decks. I ask them if they are playing EDH, and can I join in? Turns out they were waiting for a new player, so I sat down and unfolded my brand-new Malfegor deck.

It goes OK for a little while, and then the mouthbreathing Kiki-Jiki player grins and nods his head to the Azusa player, who scoops along with the Karrthus player. "He just won", the both of them say.

I'm used to infinite combos, so I smirk and say "I'll stay. I want to see what he does". Kiki-Jiki Guy grins, displaying his yellowed teeth as if they were a museum piece.

I look at his board. He has:

6 Mountains
Goblin Chirurgeon
Goblin Gardener
A couple of of other cheap Goblin cards...but they aren't important to the story.

Nothing clicks. Maybe he has a new combo I've never heard of? I decide to watch.

He puts down Goblin Marshal and says "2 tokens for me". I shrug, as nothing actually happened yet. I play my stuff for the turn.

Next turn arrives. He says "I don't play the echo cost". I shrug as he gives me that grin again. Finally, I crack and say "What's your combo?".

He says "I sac the Marshal, and get two tokens. I then sac Gardener and recur Marshal, getting two tokens. And I repeat infinite times"

I blink, and look at my hand. I don't have Damnation or any other board wiper in my hand. Good Game...wait a goddamn second. It clicks. His "combo" is illegal.

"Uh, no. You can't regenerate a sacrificed creature" I say, as if this was the stupidest April Fool's joke in existence. His face glazes over in confusion, as if I had sprouted two additional heads and had lobsters crawling out of my ears.

To make a REALLY long story short, he threw a hilarious hissyfit, accused me of not knowing the rules, then accused me of cheating, THEN accused me of ruining "The Spirit of EDH" because IN HIS OWN WORDS: "The rules don't matter! What matters is that we have fun! You are ruining it with your rules lawyer bullshit!". This was made worse by the fact that the other two guys were just parroting everything he said.

I said "To Hell with it then" and left the table. He sneered smugly, as if he were Dick Dastardly's IRL equivalent. Considering he had a strip of peach fuzz he passed off as a mustache, he probably was.

As I'm walking away, a new game begins between them and another new player. A few minutes later as I'm buying more NPH boosters, I hear him shrieking in the same exact tone: "Hinder doesn't put my general into my library! He goes to the COMMAND ZONE!"

I left the store and vowed never to return.

Got any other stories to share? I'll post my other story later: The Tale of Dick McUnshaven and Teferi, Mage of Zhalfir.

I would've punched the kid in the face, no joking.


That is completely unacceptable.

Maybe you should rename this topic to "Bad EDH players"

Done and done. Post yours. You have to have a few.

Hope you've got some other places to play EDH and that wasn't the only playgroup around. Douchebags.

I think every store has someone like this, so going to a new venue to avoid it is of arguable utility. It's one thing to be wrong about how the rules work (God knows I mess them up all the time) but the really frustrating thing is when the person insists, usually loudly, that he is right, and everyone else in the store (and possibly the Comprehensive Rules by extension) is wrong. At my own LGS this is especially fun because the person in question shares my first name, so whenever someone is calling him an F'in moron I look up, much to my irritation when I discover it is the other one who is being addressed. (Damn you reflexes!) On the plus side, it has earned me the moniker "Quiet Brad" at the store when there is a need to differentiate, which I find more than a little amusing.

We're lucky around here in that most of the major venues for playing have staff who REALLY know the rules well, and quite a few even have judges on staff. You'll still get the same annoying players throwing hissy fits over rules, but if they cause trouble they get ejected from the store, so it doesn't last very long.

The best example I can think of is the guy playing a Mono Green deck who insisted that Cabal Coffers was colourless and he should be allowed to play it - that it would only add colourless to his mana pool (he'd previously tutored for Urborg) so what was the big deal? A protracted argument followed, and he completely failed to grasp the term "Colour identity".

This goes for all the players that use Bojuka Bog as a utility land, despite not being in Black. IS IT SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND?

Unfortunately, I play online, and because the client allows this, people are happy to abuse it regardless. Also, we know all about how easy it is to win arguments on the internet.

Not for long. Color identity will be completely fixed with the next patch.

WOOHOO.

Seriously, I asked an ORC if it was getting fixed or if Wizards even knew, and they had no idea. I looked up the online rules and they mentioned the difference between paper and online so I assumed it was a 'feature'.

Still, that's great news. I assume the next patch will be when Jace and Stoneforge get banned for type 2?

Were you in Baltimore on Saturday? If so, this is probably about me.

I wasn't aware that regeneration triggered ETB abilities. At best, this gent has a tapped goblin marshal.

Also, it's unclear how the marshal keeps dying to be infinitely recurred.

This whole thing is baffling.

Nope.jpg

I live in MA and go to a store in NH, although these stories take place in a neighboring town in MA.

That's kind of funny. I haven't shaved in a couple weeks, and I was running Teferi with Knowledge Pool in a 4-man EDH tournament and locked the table before turn seven, so I thought it might be referring to me!

Dick McUnshaven is a horrid name that should never, ever be written in bold letters.